


Stollen Moments

by MollyWeisser11



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Food Kink, Food Sex, M/M, Multi, Orgy, mollyweisser11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-17 21:24:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13085655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MollyWeisser11/pseuds/MollyWeisser11
Summary: Three house-elves share dark secrets amidst a culinary catastrophe. Silly, romantic, sexy times ensue. As well as Discipline.





	Stollen Moments

**Author's Note:**

> A gift fic for my friend V, who gave a donation to The Trevor Project in exchange for this fic. :) also happy birthday <3
> 
> i would like to announce my Facebook page; please check it out: Molly Weisser's BBW and BHM Romances -#FatFiction. You can probably just facebook-search for "fatfiction" to find it. Please do like it so that I can help get more visibility and promote my writing and stuff? please? thanks

Three little elves were sitting at the main prep table at the Hogwarts Kitchens. Their heads hung low and their feet dangled miserably as they perched on high wooden stools for all the rest of the elves to see. 

It was a bit of a performance, actually - an audience of several-dozen pairs of eyes watched in fascination and horror as the trio suffered. These poor little elves were being made an *example* of. And every pair of ears in the house perked and trembled.

"Bad," scolded their matriarch, who walked in delicate baking slippers on top of the table. Powdered sugar rose in a cloud of iridescent dust with every step she took. The effect was that she looked like a very odd-looking fairy queen promenading through a mystical fog. 

Pacing back and forth in front of her little prisoners, she completed the ominous effect by slapping a wooden spoon against the inside of her hand. "Yes, you three. Bad. Very bad." 

She proceeded to seize a cookbook from her apron-pocket and she whacked Biggie upon the head. "Now, I not surprised at Biggie. Greedy, selfish, fat elf. Always wanting to be eating everything Biggie bakes." 

Biggie cowered, and wiped his face with agitation - as if he could get rid of the evidence that easily. He was coated head to toe with powdered sugar, and other detritus besides. 

Then she did the same with her book to Shady's head, but he arched away from her like a cat, a scowl upon his face. "And I not surprised at Shady, either. Shady likes trouble, of any kind." 

But then she stopped in front of Snoopy, who was sniffling and shaking a bit. "And Snoopy. So bad today. Mama is disappointed in Snoopy the most. Snoopy knows better than to indulge the likes of these mitten-wearers." 

"Shady not a mitten-wearer!" roared Shady with protest, but even as he clenched his fists tightly, the moment Mama glared at him, his muscles loosened and his ears curled in shame.

Mama was not put off by this outburst, and instead she turned to address her audience of non-guilty elves. "And what do bad little elves get when they nearly ruin Christmas dinner?" 

"Punished!" hissed Shady, looking as if he had a stale crumpet up his bum. But then again, that wasn't unusual. 

"Yes," Mama scolded, and she smiled broadly and raised her wooden spoon to the crowd like a scepter. The crowd dutifully gasped. 

"Now, bend over, ickle ones," she said, a toothsome grin on her face. "Or naughty elves will be given clothes." 

In various states of duress, the three heroes complied. Had everything they'd done... had it been worth it? 

.............................. 

Back before this whole ruckus started, Biggie was kneading dough for the Christmas stollen bread. He had two vast tureens of mixed nuts and candied fruits, and he was sprinkling each generously into the mixture. 

Shady was supposed to be helping, but as usual, he was sitting and smoking in the corner, pretending to read a recipe. Instead, he had a very engaging bit of Playelf stuck between the pages of the book, and he was admiring all the fetching young things he'd never have the chance to enjoy. 

Meanwhile, Biggie seemed content with this arrangement - it meant he could sneak handfuls of candied cherries and apple into his mouth. 

He wasn't very good at the sneaky bit, actually - the diced bits of fruit clung to his face like balls of sticky snot. But Shady would remind him to wipe it clean before too long - their codependency was effective in this way. 

"Biggie almost done with the dough?" came an approaching voice, and Shady hurriedly slammed the book shut, dashed over to Biggie's station, wiped Biggie's face, and resumed the chopping of almonds and walnuts. All in a matter of a second and a half. 

After years of practice, Biggie and Shady had mastered the art of the slack. 

The curious elf was only Snoopy, Mama's newest favorite - not Mama herself. Snoopy was an ingenue, bright-eyed and busy with his little checklists and gold stars. He was almost worse than Mama, except that he was so nice and apologetic. And, of course, incredibly naive. 

This was Snoopy's first Christmas working in the kitchens, and Shady had a hot streak for the sweet young thing. Not that he'd admit it to anyone, but his Playelf magazine wasn't exactly the more... typical kind for most male houselves. 

"Biggie nearly finished," Biggie said, after swallowing the most recent lump of sweetness from his chipmunked cheeks. "It is hard to knead with all these nice things in the mix." 

Biggie had the appearance of being a little stupid, but it was actually a bit of an act. Shady had caught him one too many times pretending to be dumber than he looked. It was a calculated risk - because it meant he could get away with eating more, probably. Almost certainly. Perpetual ignorance had a way of removing the cunning and avarice from an elf's demeanor. No one could fairly blame him for following his natural instinct, if he had pudding for brains. 

"Hm," Snoopy said, and he stood over the dough as Biggie pounded with his strong, hefty arms. "It is coming along nicely." 

"It take twice as long with all the addings," Shady observed laconically, and he pushed a tiny pile of silvered walnuts into Biggie's resource bowl. "But it all for the Great Feast of Christmas, so it a labor of love, as is said upstairs." He beamed at Snoopy, hoping the little wit would catch the hint. 

Snoopy, ever the blissfully unaware, simply smiled back at Shady. 

This interaction ended as a chime indicated the completion of a loaf. 

"Move!" said Biggie urgently, and with a wave of his hand, the door of the oven opened, and eight large loaves of stollen came tearing out like projectiles, but somehow they landed softly on a cooling rack. 

"Snoopy impressed," said the little elf, his eyes widening. "Is Biggie done with these?" 

"No," said Biggie, almost sadly. "Now they need the sugar. Once cool and covered in butter." 

So saying, he wrapped up the chock-full bread dough in his arms, toddled over to a warming bowl, and released the softness into it. He then covered the dough with a white cloth, and then wiped his hands on the front of his apron. 

"Biggie, erm," Shady said, unsure of how to alert Biggie to the presence of yet another collection of chopped fruit stuck to his face - clearly he'd somehow snuck a bite between now and last Shady'd reminded him. Shady made a gesture of rubbing his face, which unfortunately Biggie didn't notice. Instead, he was dragging a sack of powdered sugar to the prep area. 

But Snoopy was quick on the uptake, and as Biggie bent over with a huff to open up that sack of sugar, Snoopy said: "Erm, Biggie?" 

And without clarification, Snoopy pinched a piece of cherry that was stuck to Biggie's cheek, and plucked it off the other elf's face. 

And then proceeded to pop it directly into his own mouth. 

"That good," Snoopy said, his eyes growing wide. "Why spoil by baking it in bread?" 

"It's traditional," Shady explained, but was surprised to see Biggie freeze in startlement at the action taken by Snoopy. He remained stuck in a crouch, but the bag of opened confectioner's sugar slipped out of his arms and spilled across the preparation area. 

Granted, said preparation area was already quite littered with flour, but flour came cheap. Sugar this fine was quite expensive this time of year. 

"Oh no!" Snoopy said, and went immediately upon his knees to try and scoop up the sugar back into the sack. 

Understandably, this meant he ended up between Biggie's thick thighs, and all of a sudden, Snoopy raised his head too high. And he hit something with the top of his head. In short, it was Biggie's elfhood.

Biggie jumped higher than Shady ever had seen the fat elf leap, and he shrieked a little. He landed directly back upon Snoopy, and together they folded into a mess of flailing limbs and powdered-sugar snowfall. 

"This not good," Shady evaluated, but then as he watched the two other elves tussle, he noticed something odd. Queer, even. 

Biggie's tongue was licking Snoopy, all over. The more Snoopy rolled around, the more Biggie chased him and pinned him down, his wet tongue unable to resist the other elf's powdered body. 

And of course, the sticky saliva from Biggie's mouth made it even easier for Snoopy to accumulate additional layers of white powder upon his body. 

Shady was immediately terrified, and planning his exit. He and Biggie might be buddies, but if Mama was likely to become involved, Shady *would* leave Biggie out to dry. 

As he made to leave, however, he heard something unexpected.

"Biggie," Snoopy said, and laughed. "Stop it, that tickles." 

"Tell me Snoopy doesn't like to be tickled," Biggie said... seductively? How odd indeed. 

Shady was too curious, and he had to stay. He approached the couple warily. 

"Snoopy does not like to be tickled," said Snoopy in a grand pronouncement, but it was undermined by the additional giggle: "Except by Biggie's tongue." 

"That's what Biggie thought," Biggie said, and he launched himself forward and began snogging Snoopy senseless. 

They didn't notice Shady's timid approach until Shady interrupted them. 

"What in the founder's name is this?" Shady demanded, and the pair broke away from each other hastily. But the trails of clear skin amidst the coverage of powdered sugar told the story. "Is Biggie and Snoopy...lovers?" asked Shady in disbelief. "How could Biggie not tell Shady?" 

"Biggie ashamed," Biggie said sadly. "Biggie have secrets that he cannot tell even Shady." 

But Snoopy extended his little hand towards Biggie, and Biggie sighed. "Until now. Shady," Biggie said, with a fortifying swallow, "Biggie likes boy elfs. Biggie is sorry if... if this means Shady wishes to find some other friend. Biggie no wish to make Shady sad, or angry, or... feel weird." 

And Snoopy, with a cheerful smile, pressed a kiss on Biggie's plump cheek. "Snoopy is happy that Biggie could finally say this," the younger elf announced. "So proud, Snoopy loves you so much." 

"Ah," was all Biggie could say, and he pressed a fulsome kiss into Snoopy's adoring mouth. 

Shady waited until an appropriate moment, before clearing his throat.

"Shady *is* sad," Shady responded, and this got the attention of both the other elves. They stared at him, ears curling with shame at having hurt their coworker. "But Shady only sad because..." 

He joined them on the floor then, and tried to smile bravely. "...because Shady likes boy elfs too, and has always wanted to kiss Biggie on the mouth." 

This sent both Snoopy and Biggie into a state of shock so complete that they simply stared for several tense moments. 

The silence was only broken by Biggie, leaning forward towards Shady. 

"It has always been Biggie's dream, too. To kiss Shady on the mouth," the large elf said, and without hesitation, he committed the deed right there and then. 

Snoopy clapped his hands giddily, signalling his approval. "Oh, how nice!" he added, if his excitement wasn't immediately obvious. 

And only then did Shady relax into the kiss, and give it the attention he'd been planning for years. 

Oh, Biggie's thick lips were so juicy and sweet with all of that sugar! And up close, Biggie smelled so delightful - the scent of sweat combined with all the Christmas spices with which he'd been working. It was a magical, deeply arousing moment. 

But it was not for long. Biggie broke away from the embrace too soon, and he let Shady roll off of his large body onto the now-overflowing pile of sugar. "Biggie is sorry," he said softly, "Snoopy did not give consent for Biggie to kiss another elf." 

"Snoopy is happy for Biggie!" exclaimed the little one eagerly. "But Snoopy would be even happier with one thing different." 

"What?" asked Biggie, his face turning worried. 

But the little elf gleamed with happiness. "If Snoopy could also kiss Shady." 

"Shady would like that," Shady agreed, and the two older elves welcomed the cute littler one into their warm pile of love. 

The rest of the afternoon was spent in ferocious denial of time, space, and personhood. Shady, Snoopy, and Biggie pleased each other in various entanglements and configurations. They rolled in the sugar, laughing and snogging and licking all the while. They sank into the large bowls of chopped nuts and enjoyed the flavor of each others' as well. They dove into the half-risen dough and played in it like mice frivolizing in the platonic ideal of swiss cheese. They lathered each other in melted butter and practiced their anal jousting. 

Oh! If only all people could ever taste such marvelous happiness! The elves' hearts were full of gladness, and they seemed to accumulate layers of Christmas flavored deliciousness with every new treat in which they indulged. Biggie had never been giddier, snacking constantly and unabashedly as Snoopy and Shady indulged his appetite. Shady had never felt so fulfilled - all his dreams were come true at once, and he felt powerful, almost invincible. 

And Snoopy? The little elf had no clue how lucky he was, but he was gleeful and eager to please both the older elves, for whatever reason. Both older elves appreciated Snoopy's enthusiasm. 

But their fun was cut short by a thunderous, "WHAT?" 

The three of them stopped, and froze. Biggie was in the midst of being pounded in the arse by Shady, who was in utter ecstacy. And Snoopy was cramming Biggie's face full of slices of finished stollen. Stolen stollen, if you will. 

"Mama does *not* like what she sees!" shouted the wide-eyed matriarch of the Hogwarts kitchens. "What have these elves done to the Christmas stollen?" 

So saying, she dragged each of them by their ears over to the sink, where she shoved them beneath hot water and covered them in soap. "Mama - is - mad!" Mama snarled, and with a roar, she summoned a pile of gingham dishcloths from under the sink. 

"Clean up, then return with Mama to the table!" she demanded, gathering the corners of her voluminious apron and sauntering away angrily. 

The three boys looked at each other with fear in their eyes, but they all came together instantly for an embrace. They were inseparably bonded, now. Nothing could shake that, not even Mama. 

.......................... 

So, was it worth it? 

Shady asked himself the question, then laughed in his head. Of course it was. How on earth could he ask himself that? 

Well, as he looked at his co-conspirators, he realized that he was asking this question out of fear. One expression he often heard them say Upstairs was 'easy come, easy go,' and it seemed appropriate to the current moment. 

If all of this had happened because of a single little accident while baking, who was to say that it would ever happen again? 

As his mind clouded with this darkness, Shady cast a searching glance towards Biggie. 

And Biggie - thank Merlin! - he turned his head and gave Shady an ever-so-subtle wink. 

Then, Shady observed Biggie turn his head towards Snoopy, and while Shady couldn't see Biggie's face in that moment, he could tell that Snoopy got the same kind of treatment, based on Snoopy's relieved reaction. 

And so, the three of them stood there, ready to take their punishment from Mama as she berated them in front of the whole Kitchen crew. 

But today, this trouble actually meant something. It wasn't just Shady's latest lame attempt to stir the pot. Instead, Shady had found something gratifying, something worth getting in trouble for. 

He couldn't wait til New Years' and all the fresh baked goodies they'd have to prepare. And according to Biggie's and Snoopy's eager faces, as they bent over to take their punishment... neither could they.


End file.
